Do You Still Love Butterflies?~

"I love butterflies!" It’s a very common phrase. You hear it everywhere and see it all around; children chasing butterflies in the park- people butterfly watching in their gardens, it's natural....except for me. I DETEST butterflies. You would too if you were in my position. Look at me- I mean really LOOK at me...am I not what you would consider a weirdo? A freak of nature perhaps or to put it politely, just...different? I see you averting your eyes. It's alright, I’m used to it....so was my mother. Years ago, when she was a child innocently chasing butterflies in the park, she spotted an unusual and rare looking butterfly. In awe, she pursued it happily while it fluttered around her, teasingly close, but always out of reach. She chased the winged creature past the hedges of the park and was unknowingly transported to a realm beyond her young comprehension. Upon arriving, she watched the elusive butterfly flit gently to the ground and transform into a breathtaking boy who smiled tenderly at her. Without going into detail, she would never leave that world; eventually falling deeply in love with the boy who would become her husband, my father Estellan, destined to become the ruler of all butterflies; the ‘Monarch’, so to speak. Sounds grand does it not? Very fairytalish? Well, sorry to disappoint, but there are no happy endings for anyone in this sordid tale. My mother died in childbirth with me. My father, being unable bear the loss of my mother nor the sight of my appearance...not as I appear now, for I was normal then. In that world, all people have human form; though a few keep their wings, most look like you dear reader. You see, my disturbing feature was that I was the striking image of the woman who died to give me life: my mother. Never once did I ever see my father look me in the eyes for more then a few seconds without turning away in disgust and sorrow. One day when I was about five, my father told me we were going for a walk, something he never did with me. I was so happy just to have his attention, I followed him without a second thought, clasping his hand tightly. We walked a path moving away from the palace which I called home.; one I had never seen before...far into a very dark and shrouded wood. Since we had walked in silence for the entirety of the trek, I was startled by the sudden sound of children's laughter which seemed to be coming from a group of hedges near the end of the path. My father stopped and told me to go beyond the hedges and find out where the voices were coming from. I asked him to come with me but he simply shook his head, still unable to look me in the eyes. Not wanting to displease my father while also curious of the infectious laughter growing, I did as I was told. As I was about to cross the hedge, I distantly heard his voice calling my name, almost whispering; "Forgive me Estella." As soon as I turned in the direction of his voice, he was gone...in fact, EVERYTHING was gone; the path, the forest, and the hedges I had just passed. Instead, I was in a huge grass area with many oddly dressed children. Suddenly I heard a high pitched scream. It was one of the children I’d heard when I was with my father. She was pointing at me and screaming. Come to think of it, there were a LOT of people doing the same thing. Some parents were even grabbing their children and pushing them into these small boxes with wheels. I started crying because, I wanted to understand why everyone was so afraid of me. Why was everyone screaming? And most importantly, where was my father??? Memories from that period of my life are a collective of screaming, confusion, running and ‘huge men dressed in blue’ picking me up and taking me to a place filled with ‘people in white coats’. I don't remember much from then on. Perhaps because I block it, or maybe I was just too young, but I do remember the words, ‘abnormal’, ‘deformed’, ‘unusual’, ‘genetic’, ‘tragic’, etc,...I am sick of words. You see people from the Butterfly Realm are always in human form, until they cross over into your world where they instantly transform into butterflies...unless they are a halfbreed like me. Once I entered this world, BOTH sides showed and now all I am is a mutation. I ran away from all those ‘caring institutions’ when I was 15, and now devote my life in search of the portal, to go back to the world where I can be normal again- where people will look at me without turning away in disgust....well, almost no one. Regardless, I WILL find my way back to the Butterfly Realm and when I do, I WILL get my revenge on HIM. I will MAKE him LOOK upon my face once more, I swear it! Now before you go, look me in the eyes one last time and answer MY question again: "Do you STILL love butterflies?"

Palavras-chave:

Butterflies Horror fantasy love psychedelic

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